Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
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i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
And then he peed in my hair
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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