no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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