then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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