Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
