Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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