i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
