well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
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