The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
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