How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Buhtt sex?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Just invented taco cereal.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
