No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
What drink are we having for lunch?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
