what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
