Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I didn't notice because vodka
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Randomize
