is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
My vagina is officially offended.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
