I can't breathe out the right side of my face
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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