this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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