My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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