I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
