Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
