i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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