Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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