I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I want a musical about memes.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
