I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
