I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
