"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
