Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
he shaved USA in his pubs
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
