i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Randomize
