Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
