i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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