Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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