what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
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