Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
