i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
