K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
