just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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