oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
