So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize