Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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