Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
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She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
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Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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