i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Damn victory sex feels great
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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