I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
