the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Watching her eat just hurts me
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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