Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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