stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
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definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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