Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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