But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
