im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize