Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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