She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
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She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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