ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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