The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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