haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Is Oprah even human
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
