we have pet lesbian snakes
People in love make me want to vomit
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
