We won't sleep together?
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Randomize
