we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
