i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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