Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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