My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
is that a dick in a sweater?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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