Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
