One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
