we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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