I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
