i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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