Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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