Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
