so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
