I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Operation Purity has been aborted
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
